Effin' Birds

Effin' Birds

$16.99

*Includes Explicit Language* Effin' Birds is the most eagerly anticipated new volume in the grand and noble profession of nature writing and bird identification. Sitting proudly alongside Sibley, Kaufman, and Peterson, this book contains more than 150 pages crammed full of classic, monochrome plumage art paired with the delightful but dirty aphorisms (think "I'm going to need more booze to deal with this week") that made the Effin' Birds Twitter feed a household name. Also included in its full, Technicolor glory is John James Audubon's most beautiful work matched with modern life advice. Including never-before-seen birds, insults, and field notes, this guide is a must-have for any effin' fan or birder.
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One-of-a-kind bouquets

Every bouquet we create is unique—designed by hand, with seasonal flowers chosen for their color, texture, and charm. No pre-made templates, no mass production. Just fresh florals arranged with care and creativity, made to surprise and delight.

Designer-made from fresh flowers

Each arrangement is thoughtfully crafted by our in-house team using the freshest blooms of the season—no two bouquets are ever the same.

Hand-tied with intention

We design every bouquet with balance, movement, and style in mind—creating florals that feel personal, expressive, and full of life.

How it works

Fresh flowers, zero hassle—here’s how we make it easy.

1. Subscribe or order flowers

Pick your favorite bouquet or sign up for a subscription. Whether it’s a one-time gift or your regular flower fix, ordering takes just minutes.

2. Get same day delivery

Order by 11am and we’ll hand-deliver your flowers the same day. Beautiful blooms, right to your doorstep—fast, fresh, and on time.

3. Get new flowers every week

Subscribers receive thoughtfully curated bouquets each time, designed with seasonal flowers and delivered with care.

Local delivery & pickups

Fresh flowers, right when you need them. We offer same-day delivery across the DC area and easy pickups from our studio. Whether it’s a last-minute gift or a regular treat, we make getting flowers simple and seamless.

Same-day local delivery

Place your order by 11am and we’ll hand-deliver your flowers the very same day—fresh, fast, and handled with care.

Quick & easy pickups

Prefer to swing by? Choose pickup at checkout and your bouquet will be ready when you are, beautifully wrapped and waiting.

Same-day local delivery
for order by 4pm

Need flowers today? Place your order by 4pm and we’ll deliver your bouquet the same day—beautifully arranged and right on time.

Designer-made,
one-of-a-kind bouquets

Every arrangement is crafted by our in-house designers, using fresh, seasonal blooms. Artful florals made just for you.

Sustainable packaging,
minimal waste

Our flowers don’t just look good—they do good. We use eco-conscious packaging and design with intention to reduce waste at every step.

Frequently Asked Questions

Each of our arrangements is handcrafted by a collective of local florists using premium, ethically sourced blooms — many from women-led, fair-trade farms. We design with intention, avoid mass-market styles, and often pair our flowers.

Each of our arrangements is handcrafted by a collective of local florists using premium, ethically sourced blooms — many from women-led, fair-trade farms. We design with intention, avoid mass-market styles, and often pair our flowers.

Use this text to answer questions in as much detail as possible for your customers.

Use this text to answer questions in as much detail as possible for your customers.

What our customers are saying

Heartfelt words from flower lovers, gift-givers, and everyday romantics.

★★★★★

A Thanksgiving Masterpiece

I ordered a Thanksgiving centerpiece from Blooms Collective and I’m so happy I did! The arrangement was absolutely stunning—but what really stood out were the little details. The massive roses and pomegranates were the first thing you noticed, and they totally nailed the vibe I was going for.

Anne Johnson

★★★★★

Valentine’s Day to Birthdays

My mom sent me and my sister flowers from Blooms Collective for Valentine’s Day, and they were gorgeous! Since then, I’ve been getting flowers from them for all my friends’ birthdays. The owners are super friendly and make it really easy to pop in and grab a bouquet. 10/10 would recommend!

Gabby Koenig

★★★★★

Beauty and Fragrance

Over the past two months, I received two bouquets from Blooms Collective, and both were amazing. There were at least 10 different types of flowers in each one, the colors were beautiful, and the scent was just incredible. I highly recommend them!

Cathy Newman

★★★★★

Flowers with Heart

I ordered a wreath for my father’s grave at Arlington Cemetery and was so touched by how wonderful and helpful the team was. They responded quickly, kept me updated, and even offered delivery. The wreath was absolutely beautiful—I was so proud to have it on his gravesite.

Carrie OConnell

★★★★★

Exquisite Arrangements

Blooms Collective creates the most exquisite arrangements in DC. Their flower selection is top-notch, and the customer service is just as impressive. I’m so glad they’re part of the local business scene—an arrangement from here brings so much joy!

Rachel Scallan

★★★★★

More Than Just a Flower Shop

This was the best floral shop experience I’ve ever had. I got a beautiful bouquet for my partner, and the shop itself is also a community space that hosts events and classes. It’s run by just two amazing people, and you can really feel the care they put into everything. I seriously recommend checking them out.

Caleb Lederer

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